You LIARS!! How could you!??!

Well I won't deny I'm a bit angry right now at all of you grue-denialists who as well as demeaning and teasing me have been lying to me for so long. But I'm trying to stay calm and keep this all under control and not do anything silly and if the guy I saw in the park and with whom I had a cordial, if lively, discussion of the colour of the grass is reading this I want to say straight out that I'd be happy to buy you a new bike if you just email me. There's someone else - you know who you are - who will have to think hard about making an apology for their immoderate language before we discuss who will pay for those windows. Never mind, though, I've been allowed access to a computer in here and I should be released again really really soon, I'm told, so all's well that ends well, eh? It's not like there's any hope of bringing you all to justice for what you've done.

 At first, I thought it was a joke, when everyone kept on insisting that grass was green. Or maybe that you were all just having trouble admitting you were wrong. But that would be dumb. After all, I have working eyes and I could see for myself that the grass had stayed exactly the same colour as before: grue! Now I've had some time to think, I've worked out what was going on. You have all been misusing the word `green' for years - using it, in fact, to mean `grue'. So what you meant when you said that grass would CHANGE from grue to bleen was that it would STAY EXACTLY AS IT WAS. I guess you can see why I was confused. Well, no, that's right, you can't! I haven't met ANYONE who is prepared to take responsibility for this collective abuse of words. EVERYONE is blaming ME!! Not ONE person EVER took the time to consider whether maybe you were all using the word `green' totally wrongly. Nobody said `well hang on, perhaps what you mean by grue is what we mean by green'. Then we could have spent our time productively trying to find a way to test that. Instead, you all just dismissed me, as if I was some sort of nutter.